Living life in balance. Today my blog takes a new direction. Much synchronicity, in all the teachings I've received lately, has helped me to realize that it is time to create my own integrated teaching instead of merely writing random blog posts. I have lived my life according to the phases of the moon for the past several years, discovering so many fabulous things about myself, the moon, and the moon's effect on the cosmos.
When I started observing the moon nightly, within 2 months, my own cycle began to synchronize with the moon's phases: ovulating at the full moon and menstruating at the new moon. In my anthropological ignorance, I didn't realize that that was pretty normal -- at least it was in the past. As it continued month after month, my curiosity was piqued. I started to recognize that this must be why fertility rituals were so often performed at the full moon -- if the women were ovulating, it would be the most likely time to conceive.
Apparently, in earlier eras, such synchronicity was common, but anomalies of modern life have taken their toll on today's woman -- crazy schedules, exposure to industrial lighting, stress, lack of time spent outdoors, invasive methods of contraception, all wreak havoc with normal cycles. Even living according to the Gregorian calendar, instead of the natural lunar calendar, all too often keeps women from experiencing this synchronicity.
As a Libra, I love balance. As a quadruple Libra (my natal chart indicates 4 planets in Libra), I am all about getting balance. And yet the balance I seek has so often been missing from my life. As I have researched and observed, my life has come much more into equilibrium. As I continue now to avail myself of personal development reading and coaching, I see how it all comes together.
In this blog we will explore moon lore, mythology and cultural practices, bring together lunar correspondences, the elements, and natural sciences in an attempt to create balance, and to fulfill our highest potential -- to be able to live in abundance and prosperity in every aspect of our lives. In my next entry, I will explore the moon's effect on us and our natural surroundings in surprising ways you may never have noticed, and her symbol as the figure of primordial receptivity.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Life in Balance
Balance. It's what we all want but don't always know how to get. One of the things I love about NMVT is the morning Wake Up to Success calls. This morning, Jason Spurlock, the creator of the madness as he calls himself, CEO and former DO intern, shared this with us about keeping life in balance.
My personal note: I've been big on the whole Body/Mind/Spirit thing for many, many years. But I've neglected the fourth quadrant which has to be kept in equal balance, and that's the financial end of things. I'm just waking up to that at 57. There are four quarters to a whole. Four elements. Four seasons to the year. Four cardinal directions. Four is + (the crossroads of balance). Body/Mind/Spirit/Finances.
Here's Jason's recipe and my elaboration for keeping every day in balance. My elaborations are in brackets.
1. Choose to live at the corner of Art & Commerce. To have the greatest success, you have to have a personal form of creativity and self-expression.
2. Before you get out of bed in the morning -- take a few minutes to create your day. That doesn't mean going through checklists of what you have to do. Plan your strategy for being highly creative and productive today.
3. As soon as you get up, before you have a cup of coffee, before you do anything else, drink a liter of water. Staying hydrated keeps the mind clear and the systems working.
4. Take a high potency B-vitamin complex. B vitamins are mood elevators, they increase your digestion, they help metabolize ATP which is your energy engine.
5. Meditate, Pray, do Yoga, whatever it takes for you to communicate with Source. Communicating with Source is communicating with yourself -- creating a free flow of mental, emotional, and psychological energy. Get out of bed to do this -- [create sacred space for yourself] -- a place apart whether it be on your knees beside your bed, in your closet, cross-legged on the bathroom floor, [outside in nature, in front of a personal altar], wherever.
6. Exercise. Move your body. Regular exercise will lift depression, cause your body to function better, [lower your blood sugar, lower your blood pressure], give you energy. [Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. Find the time. If you are completely sedentary now, even 20 minutes of movement will improve things. Choose the kind of exercise that makes you happy and motivated -- walk, ride a bicycle, go to the gym, run, jog. If you currently have mobility issues, start slowly, but start now. Get little one and a half pound weights and do arm exercises for 10 minutes -- you would be surprised at how much just that little can do to elevate your heart rate and get your blood pumping and your body processes working better. Take tai chi or chi gung (qi gong) lessons.] Whether or not anyone wants to admit it -- you will get more respect if you take care of your body.
7. Work. Be productive. Be consistent.
8. Journal. Write down your thoughts and manifestations. Brainstorm. Create ideas. [Write down every seed of an idea. Flesh them out. Keep track of what works and what doesn't.] Record your manifestations and take joy in them.
These are key things in creating life in balance, mentally, spiritually, physiologically, and financially.
My personal note: I've been big on the whole Body/Mind/Spirit thing for many, many years. But I've neglected the fourth quadrant which has to be kept in equal balance, and that's the financial end of things. I'm just waking up to that at 57. There are four quarters to a whole. Four elements. Four seasons to the year. Four cardinal directions. Four is + (the crossroads of balance). Body/Mind/Spirit/Finances.
Here's Jason's recipe and my elaboration for keeping every day in balance. My elaborations are in brackets.
1. Choose to live at the corner of Art & Commerce. To have the greatest success, you have to have a personal form of creativity and self-expression.
2. Before you get out of bed in the morning -- take a few minutes to create your day. That doesn't mean going through checklists of what you have to do. Plan your strategy for being highly creative and productive today.
3. As soon as you get up, before you have a cup of coffee, before you do anything else, drink a liter of water. Staying hydrated keeps the mind clear and the systems working.
4. Take a high potency B-vitamin complex. B vitamins are mood elevators, they increase your digestion, they help metabolize ATP which is your energy engine.
5. Meditate, Pray, do Yoga, whatever it takes for you to communicate with Source. Communicating with Source is communicating with yourself -- creating a free flow of mental, emotional, and psychological energy. Get out of bed to do this -- [create sacred space for yourself] -- a place apart whether it be on your knees beside your bed, in your closet, cross-legged on the bathroom floor, [outside in nature, in front of a personal altar], wherever.
6. Exercise. Move your body. Regular exercise will lift depression, cause your body to function better, [lower your blood sugar, lower your blood pressure], give you energy. [Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. Find the time. If you are completely sedentary now, even 20 minutes of movement will improve things. Choose the kind of exercise that makes you happy and motivated -- walk, ride a bicycle, go to the gym, run, jog. If you currently have mobility issues, start slowly, but start now. Get little one and a half pound weights and do arm exercises for 10 minutes -- you would be surprised at how much just that little can do to elevate your heart rate and get your blood pumping and your body processes working better. Take tai chi or chi gung (qi gong) lessons.] Whether or not anyone wants to admit it -- you will get more respect if you take care of your body.
7. Work. Be productive. Be consistent.
8. Journal. Write down your thoughts and manifestations. Brainstorm. Create ideas. [Write down every seed of an idea. Flesh them out. Keep track of what works and what doesn't.] Record your manifestations and take joy in them.
These are key things in creating life in balance, mentally, spiritually, physiologically, and financially.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Phenomenal work from home income (and not what you might think)
I have a GREAT work-from-home blog I want to recommend to anyone who is looking to work profitably from home. This is NOT about network marketing, so it's really for anyone interested in working from home. I thought I was doing pretty well getting by on my writing income till I saw that this guy and his wife are making over $100,000 doing monogrammed linens from home.
His blog and courses have great, practical, down-to-earth how to's.
www.mywifequitherjob.com
His blog and courses have great, practical, down-to-earth how to's.
www.mywifequitherjob.com
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Christmas Magic
Despite all the commercial hype, and I'm not a very commercial person, Christmas is all about magic to me, and one of the most magic holidays of light I've ever experienced was at Disneyland. Yes, Disneyland.
I took my boys there one Christmas, and my older son, in turn, has taken his children there. Now I think it would be cool for us all to go together this year. So why am I thinking about this in May? Because I need to do some goal setting.You see, they keep telling me I'll meet my financial goals better if I actually visualize what I want to do with the money.
I sat down and figured up what I could earn if I do things the way I was taught. The figure was mind boggling. I'm just getting used to the idea of wealth, so it's pretty tough for me to say what all I would do with a 7-figure salary. But I can do things in bites and chunks. And I know I would be thrilled, as would the kids and grandkids, if I could take us all to Disneyland for Christmas this year. Even better, if I turned my sons onto this, and they started making 7-figure salaries, too.
Autumn Equinox is about 20 weeks away. My compensation plan shows me that in 20 weeks, I can make -- oh, well, enough, that's for sure, to ensure me my bills paid off, a place for my feast, my taxes paid, and a Disneyland Christmas. Oh, and did I mention enough to invest and enough to share with others?
You see I'm a very generous person. I've been told over and over that it's easy to say I'm generous because I don't have any money. Really? Is it all just talk and dreams? Let's just see. Maybe if I perform a little magic...
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
My Brain on Synchronicity
Synchronicity. Some might call it pure, random coincidence, but I don’t believe in
such a thing. I believe in synchronicity -- according to Jung: the experience of two or more events that are unlikely to occur together by chance, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner. This particular synchronous event calls up
for me so many correlations and associations with similar incidents throughout my life. It
is so exciting and fascinating to me when these things happen.
I have yet to figure out how to be in the flow, so to speak, to access my subconscious at will. But in times of need, it always presents itself. And sometimes, I think, it does it, not only to impart a bit of needed information, but to amuse me as well. That’s what happened this time.
The Voice (not audible, of course) often directs me to do things. As a young Christian woman, I always attributed it to the Voice of God. Only when I started reading the mystics and metaphysical writers in college did I begin to comprehend my own experience.
Now that I understand that it’s part of me and comes from me, it’s more subtle — most of the time — meaning “more easily ignored.” But it also knows how to grab my attention when it’s urgent.
This wasn’t urgent, but I find it amazing. Night before last, a specific tarot image came to mind. I recognized the theme, and decided to adopt it for a new project that I am working on. All day yesterday, my mind (or The Voice) kept urging me to look up the card on Tarot.com, and, it said, I needed also to look up other images of the same card. The image I had seen in my mind was from the Thoth deck.
The path upon which I embarked to find the information (that I didn’t know I was seeking) was also interesting. I went to Tarot.com and looked up the card that had impressed itself in my mind. I was delighted to find, first of all, that it’s meaning quite poignantly addressed (to the minutest detail) exactly what I had been thinking about when the card came to mind.
Now that, in itself, is not particularly remarkable. When one studies the tarot, the images implant themselves as archetypes in the mind, so the fact that my brain connected that particular card with my idea was understandable, although I may not have consciously made the connection.
But what happened next was the exciting and (I was going to say amusing, but that literally means “not to think”) insightful.
As I was “told,” I looked to see the image from a different deck. The site gives you that option. When you choose a card, there is a drop-down menu that allows you to see the image of the card in any deck available. There are dozens of choices, the majority of which I’m not familiar. I simply chose the first one that pleased my mind — The Celestial Tarot. Synchronicity ensues.
I was immediately drawn to the image — that of the constellation Boötes. I have heard of Boötes, but it produced no specific knowledge or correlations for me. I looked it up on Wikipedia, and my curiosity was piqued when I saw that the most prominent star in Boötes is Arcturus. The name Arcturus has been floating around in my conscious mind for quite a while now, so I immediately followed the link to Arcturus.
Of course I was particularly pleased that Arcturus is known to the Greeks as the “guardian of the Bear.” That is particularly relevant to me because my Spirit guide and teacher is a great mother bear. But the surprise came when I saw that the culmination of Arcturus, meaning when it is at its zenith and most prominent in the sky is — April 30th. The very day I was “told” to look it up.
I mused, first on the meaning — the omen, so to speak. The message of the tarot card was partially about being guarded and supported. I took it to mean that the Spirit of the “guardian of the Bear” was watching over me. I could explain that more fully, but that gets into magickal names, etc. of which I shall not speak at this moment.
But then I marveled. How was it that this moment in time — April 30th at the culmination of the star — impinged itself on my consciousness? At first I thought it was perhaps a remnant from the collective unconscious, but then I realized that I would have read that article on Arcturus in May of 2006 while making preparations for my MidSummer celebration. But when I read the article, I was looking for lore and metaphor, not facts, so the April 30th date would have been passively asserted into my brain.
I find it exciting, fascinating, a bit frightening, and I find myself full of awe at the capabilities of our brains to arrange things the way they do. My excitement and fascination comes from the fact that if I could be more open to that information all the time, that I could literally accomplish anything I want/desire/will. θέλω.
There.is.no.obstacle.other.than.ourselves. Imagine. Imagine what we can accomplish. But we cannot command it. If we desire it too much, or try to capture it, it retreats. Only when we are in the flow — the flow of God — of the Gods — of the Beloved — of The Universe — in the flow of our own life force. It comes when we recognize that we are truly “a Star in the company of Stars.” Only then do we begin.
True synchronicity.
I have yet to figure out how to be in the flow, so to speak, to access my subconscious at will. But in times of need, it always presents itself. And sometimes, I think, it does it, not only to impart a bit of needed information, but to amuse me as well. That’s what happened this time.
The Voice (not audible, of course) often directs me to do things. As a young Christian woman, I always attributed it to the Voice of God. Only when I started reading the mystics and metaphysical writers in college did I begin to comprehend my own experience.
Now that I understand that it’s part of me and comes from me, it’s more subtle — most of the time — meaning “more easily ignored.” But it also knows how to grab my attention when it’s urgent.
This wasn’t urgent, but I find it amazing. Night before last, a specific tarot image came to mind. I recognized the theme, and decided to adopt it for a new project that I am working on. All day yesterday, my mind (or The Voice) kept urging me to look up the card on Tarot.com, and, it said, I needed also to look up other images of the same card. The image I had seen in my mind was from the Thoth deck.
The path upon which I embarked to find the information (that I didn’t know I was seeking) was also interesting. I went to Tarot.com and looked up the card that had impressed itself in my mind. I was delighted to find, first of all, that it’s meaning quite poignantly addressed (to the minutest detail) exactly what I had been thinking about when the card came to mind.
Now that, in itself, is not particularly remarkable. When one studies the tarot, the images implant themselves as archetypes in the mind, so the fact that my brain connected that particular card with my idea was understandable, although I may not have consciously made the connection.
But what happened next was the exciting and (I was going to say amusing, but that literally means “not to think”) insightful.
As I was “told,” I looked to see the image from a different deck. The site gives you that option. When you choose a card, there is a drop-down menu that allows you to see the image of the card in any deck available. There are dozens of choices, the majority of which I’m not familiar. I simply chose the first one that pleased my mind — The Celestial Tarot. Synchronicity ensues.
I was immediately drawn to the image — that of the constellation Boötes. I have heard of Boötes, but it produced no specific knowledge or correlations for me. I looked it up on Wikipedia, and my curiosity was piqued when I saw that the most prominent star in Boötes is Arcturus. The name Arcturus has been floating around in my conscious mind for quite a while now, so I immediately followed the link to Arcturus.
Of course I was particularly pleased that Arcturus is known to the Greeks as the “guardian of the Bear.” That is particularly relevant to me because my Spirit guide and teacher is a great mother bear. But the surprise came when I saw that the culmination of Arcturus, meaning when it is at its zenith and most prominent in the sky is — April 30th. The very day I was “told” to look it up.
I mused, first on the meaning — the omen, so to speak. The message of the tarot card was partially about being guarded and supported. I took it to mean that the Spirit of the “guardian of the Bear” was watching over me. I could explain that more fully, but that gets into magickal names, etc. of which I shall not speak at this moment.
But then I marveled. How was it that this moment in time — April 30th at the culmination of the star — impinged itself on my consciousness? At first I thought it was perhaps a remnant from the collective unconscious, but then I realized that I would have read that article on Arcturus in May of 2006 while making preparations for my MidSummer celebration. But when I read the article, I was looking for lore and metaphor, not facts, so the April 30th date would have been passively asserted into my brain.
I find it exciting, fascinating, a bit frightening, and I find myself full of awe at the capabilities of our brains to arrange things the way they do. My excitement and fascination comes from the fact that if I could be more open to that information all the time, that I could literally accomplish anything I want/desire/will. θέλω.
There.is.no.obstacle.other.than.ourselves. Imagine. Imagine what we can accomplish. But we cannot command it. If we desire it too much, or try to capture it, it retreats. Only when we are in the flow — the flow of God — of the Gods — of the Beloved — of The Universe — in the flow of our own life force. It comes when we recognize that we are truly “a Star in the company of Stars.” Only then do we begin.
True synchronicity.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
DisengageReengage2012
I know a lot of you out there are holding your breath to find out what Intrepid Jade's next project will be. I see I haven't posted since late October. That's because I've been busy pursuing my will, losing my way (again), grieving over that, and getting back on track.
What? Ne'er mind. I wrote an entry in between then and now, published it, then unpublished it. Too much grief and existential pondering.
Suffice it to say that after I put together the restaurant, where I learned some big, hard lessons, I lost it. Plain and simple. Last time I lost a business, it was because I listened to the wrong people. This time it was because I didn't listen to anybody. Go figure. It was full speed ahead, conventional wisdom be damned.
Recently, as I stood back up and brushed myself off, in the midst of re-collecting my dignity, I heard a talk by a man, Ron Williams, whom I now admire very much. In my typical ADHD fashion, I might have just drifted off and heard "Blah, blah, blah." But this guy wasn't all hype and charisma. This guy was about authenticity and integrity. Very down to earth. And he taught me something right away. It was a true "Aha" moment for me.
Ron said we can't just make it on our god-given talents, that at some point, those have to be parlayed into skills. Pause for thought. All my life, I've been trying to do everything on the merit of my talents, which are many. If I have a talent, I think I should be able to do whatever calls for that talent. But the truth is that I haven't taken the time to hone many of those talents into real skills. Wow. That explains a WHOLE lot.
I have skipped 'round the world, selling myself and my talents, and jumping in with both feet only to find -- oops -- that I really couldn't pull it off. The restaurant was a perfect example of that (as well as dozens of other perfect examples of it). Of course when my older son reads this, he will say, "I've been telling you that for years." It's true, he has. But, I thought, he's just a kid. What does he know? I kept thinking, I just need to try something else; so off I'd be on the next big adventure, using the next set of talents for which I had never developed any skills.
So, at last, I sat down, armed with this "new" information (sorry, Son), and thought, "So what skills do I have?" In all fairness to me, Son #1 kept telling me I had no marketable skills. I knew I'd come too far in life and done way too much living to have never developed any skills. So I thought some more.
At last it came to me. And I laughed. I laughed a big belly laugh. Because, guess what? The skills I have are the skills it has always been my BIG dream to use, but I thought...I thought...well, it's apparent that I really hadn't thought it through.
So what are the skills I have developed over 57 years of living and learning? First of all, from all the positions I got on my own merit, whether I could follow through or not, I knew I was really good at selling myself. Yessir, that was major. I never lied. I wasn't a used car salesman -- I was selling me! But I think there was this huge disconnection between what I thought anyone of my talents should be able to do and what I could actually do. I sold my background, experience and talents.
From that, I could also see that I'm really good at writing and speaking. I wasn't afraid to talk to anybody, from one on one to a crowd of a thousand. I had something to say, and by god, everybody better listen. And in the right setting, everyone did.
To that end, I am also an excellent wordsmith. The evidence of that is that the best and most loved jobs I have ever had, and the most successful, involved writing, editing and publishing. That was something I had been doing successfully for more than 40 years in small doses.
Another well-honed skill for me is my understanding. Some might call that a god-given gift, but in the Church, I was identified as having the gifts of knowledge and understanding, an ability to put together shreds of gathered information (often gathered from "thin air") to create a new whole out of it. It actually looked like creatio ex nihilo a lot of the time. Which is why the Magus so often shows up as the central figure in my tarot readings.
I figured out very quickly how to put that successfully to use in the church setting. So by now, I would say, that is a finely honed, if rather esoteric skill. I think I just haven't found a real-world application for it yet.
Besides my skills, I also have compassion. That's neither a talent nor a skill, but it is an attribute that could very go well with other talents and skills. However, my compassion is a particular one -- an uncanny ability to see and understand where the other guy is coming from. That is something that can be honed into a skill. Unfortunately, it is a skill that society values in theory, but not in practice. When I am disagreeing with someone and nearing deadlock, that ability to "see/feel/understand" the other side of the question is what makes me back down. All too often, the other party sees my backing down as weakness and goes for the throat. (Now do you understand political debates?)
If, instead of backing down, I explain what I see/understand to my "opponent" in an effort to come to a consensus, he/she immediately feels exposed and threatened, and the end of that is never pretty either. So my peculiar brand of compassion is one I have yet to become skilled in making work to my advantage. But, I believe, having pinpointed it is half the battle.
To be successful, I see that I need to find a role where I'm selling myself and my ability to see/feel/understand where the other person is coming from without them feeling threatened (in other words in an empathetic or mediatory role rather than with an "opponent"), and to use my words and knowledge to help the person understand themselves, their needs, their desires.
So, in 2012, I'm disengaging (from an old paradigm) and reengaging (a whole new paradigm). Hey! You're never too old to learn! I also realize why I have never accomplished it even though it's been my "dream." I can't make a dream come true if I've never thought it through to know what it looks like.
In the meantime, while I figure this out, check out my new friend, Ron. www.ronwilliams.org
What? Ne'er mind. I wrote an entry in between then and now, published it, then unpublished it. Too much grief and existential pondering.
Suffice it to say that after I put together the restaurant, where I learned some big, hard lessons, I lost it. Plain and simple. Last time I lost a business, it was because I listened to the wrong people. This time it was because I didn't listen to anybody. Go figure. It was full speed ahead, conventional wisdom be damned.
Recently, as I stood back up and brushed myself off, in the midst of re-collecting my dignity, I heard a talk by a man, Ron Williams, whom I now admire very much. In my typical ADHD fashion, I might have just drifted off and heard "Blah, blah, blah." But this guy wasn't all hype and charisma. This guy was about authenticity and integrity. Very down to earth. And he taught me something right away. It was a true "Aha" moment for me.
Ron said we can't just make it on our god-given talents, that at some point, those have to be parlayed into skills. Pause for thought. All my life, I've been trying to do everything on the merit of my talents, which are many. If I have a talent, I think I should be able to do whatever calls for that talent. But the truth is that I haven't taken the time to hone many of those talents into real skills. Wow. That explains a WHOLE lot.
I have skipped 'round the world, selling myself and my talents, and jumping in with both feet only to find -- oops -- that I really couldn't pull it off. The restaurant was a perfect example of that (as well as dozens of other perfect examples of it). Of course when my older son reads this, he will say, "I've been telling you that for years." It's true, he has. But, I thought, he's just a kid. What does he know? I kept thinking, I just need to try something else; so off I'd be on the next big adventure, using the next set of talents for which I had never developed any skills.
So, at last, I sat down, armed with this "new" information (sorry, Son), and thought, "So what skills do I have?" In all fairness to me, Son #1 kept telling me I had no marketable skills. I knew I'd come too far in life and done way too much living to have never developed any skills. So I thought some more.
At last it came to me. And I laughed. I laughed a big belly laugh. Because, guess what? The skills I have are the skills it has always been my BIG dream to use, but I thought...I thought...well, it's apparent that I really hadn't thought it through.
So what are the skills I have developed over 57 years of living and learning? First of all, from all the positions I got on my own merit, whether I could follow through or not, I knew I was really good at selling myself. Yessir, that was major. I never lied. I wasn't a used car salesman -- I was selling me! But I think there was this huge disconnection between what I thought anyone of my talents should be able to do and what I could actually do. I sold my background, experience and talents.
From that, I could also see that I'm really good at writing and speaking. I wasn't afraid to talk to anybody, from one on one to a crowd of a thousand. I had something to say, and by god, everybody better listen. And in the right setting, everyone did.
To that end, I am also an excellent wordsmith. The evidence of that is that the best and most loved jobs I have ever had, and the most successful, involved writing, editing and publishing. That was something I had been doing successfully for more than 40 years in small doses.
Another well-honed skill for me is my understanding. Some might call that a god-given gift, but in the Church, I was identified as having the gifts of knowledge and understanding, an ability to put together shreds of gathered information (often gathered from "thin air") to create a new whole out of it. It actually looked like creatio ex nihilo a lot of the time. Which is why the Magus so often shows up as the central figure in my tarot readings.
I figured out very quickly how to put that successfully to use in the church setting. So by now, I would say, that is a finely honed, if rather esoteric skill. I think I just haven't found a real-world application for it yet.
Besides my skills, I also have compassion. That's neither a talent nor a skill, but it is an attribute that could very go well with other talents and skills. However, my compassion is a particular one -- an uncanny ability to see and understand where the other guy is coming from. That is something that can be honed into a skill. Unfortunately, it is a skill that society values in theory, but not in practice. When I am disagreeing with someone and nearing deadlock, that ability to "see/feel/understand" the other side of the question is what makes me back down. All too often, the other party sees my backing down as weakness and goes for the throat. (Now do you understand political debates?)
If, instead of backing down, I explain what I see/understand to my "opponent" in an effort to come to a consensus, he/she immediately feels exposed and threatened, and the end of that is never pretty either. So my peculiar brand of compassion is one I have yet to become skilled in making work to my advantage. But, I believe, having pinpointed it is half the battle.
To be successful, I see that I need to find a role where I'm selling myself and my ability to see/feel/understand where the other person is coming from without them feeling threatened (in other words in an empathetic or mediatory role rather than with an "opponent"), and to use my words and knowledge to help the person understand themselves, their needs, their desires.
So, in 2012, I'm disengaging (from an old paradigm) and reengaging (a whole new paradigm). Hey! You're never too old to learn! I also realize why I have never accomplished it even though it's been my "dream." I can't make a dream come true if I've never thought it through to know what it looks like.
In the meantime, while I figure this out, check out my new friend, Ron. www.ronwilliams.org
Thursday, October 27, 2011
With new moon energy, I continue.
It is suddenly as if all the chaos and riot of ideas that have been swimming in my head for nearly 20 years have suddenly amalgamated into this rolling wave of creative energy.
It seems that sword that I stuck in my own back (metaphorically speaking), since withdrawn, has become a tool for personal power and creativity rather than a weapon of self-destruction.
I compared a previous tarot reading to one I received today. The 9 of Swords (self-torture) has given way to a reversed 10 of Swords, meaning that an anticipated goal, previously aborted, has been renewed. I am triumphing over forces larger than myself. This was followed by the Ace of Swords, implying the use of creative resourcefulness to reveal opportunities unseen by others. That is exactly what is happening in my life right now.
In 1993, after my second and final separation from my husband, I birthed the idea of establishing my own religious order (I was a Christian then). A Catholic nun friend of mine, my favorite wisewoman of all time, looked at my hand-written plan and chuckled -- "I see. You want to be the Pope of the Peninsula." (I was living on the Key Peninsula in Washington State.) Not really Pope, just Mother Superior. ;-) Hildegard of Bingen was my inspiration. I was still Evangelical Protestant then.
Now, nearly 20 years later, my vision is becoming reality. Well, not exactly Mother Superior -- my ego has been replaced with confidence and understanding. The opportunity was set forth on the full moon, and today (from the burgeoning effulgence of the new moon) I announced the inception of Bona Dea Temple. It has come to pass. It has been put into my hands, and I grasp it, not with a desperate clinging but with the wonder of a child being handed something to experience for the first time.
Much is done. Miles to go before I sleep. More soon.
It seems that sword that I stuck in my own back (metaphorically speaking), since withdrawn, has become a tool for personal power and creativity rather than a weapon of self-destruction.
I compared a previous tarot reading to one I received today. The 9 of Swords (self-torture) has given way to a reversed 10 of Swords, meaning that an anticipated goal, previously aborted, has been renewed. I am triumphing over forces larger than myself. This was followed by the Ace of Swords, implying the use of creative resourcefulness to reveal opportunities unseen by others. That is exactly what is happening in my life right now.
In 1993, after my second and final separation from my husband, I birthed the idea of establishing my own religious order (I was a Christian then). A Catholic nun friend of mine, my favorite wisewoman of all time, looked at my hand-written plan and chuckled -- "I see. You want to be the Pope of the Peninsula." (I was living on the Key Peninsula in Washington State.) Not really Pope, just Mother Superior. ;-) Hildegard of Bingen was my inspiration. I was still Evangelical Protestant then.
Now, nearly 20 years later, my vision is becoming reality. Well, not exactly Mother Superior -- my ego has been replaced with confidence and understanding. The opportunity was set forth on the full moon, and today (from the burgeoning effulgence of the new moon) I announced the inception of Bona Dea Temple. It has come to pass. It has been put into my hands, and I grasp it, not with a desperate clinging but with the wonder of a child being handed something to experience for the first time.
Much is done. Miles to go before I sleep. More soon.
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