Breathing words + healing

I am a writer. I am filled with philosophies and tales and wondrous descriptions, deep thoughts and fabulous ideas. But why do so few of my inspirations reach the written page? I realize that I bog myself down by writing everything in the same self-conscious way. When I'm writing an informative article, I must, of course, consider my audience. If I am marketing a piece, I must consider many things. But when I just want to breathe words, I realize quite a different strategy must be employed.

I realized today that the problem with writing is the same problem we have with living and thinking -- we are narrating the past -- something we envisioned or heard from our muse a moment ago.

When I was a literature student, I never really got into reading "stream-of-consciousness" literature, but I think now that I should employ a semblance of that.

My thoughts of late are carried by the breeze in the instant. This is when I am the most lucid.

I have had several catalysts over the past two years, all of which have carried me aloft and taught me so much. I want to share these things with you in the hope that something here will inspire YOU to new heights, new dimensions, something that will help engender greater freedom for you as it has for me.

For the first 45 years or so of my learning, everything was very orderly and built on previous lessons, but they also carried the heaviness of the baggage I drew along behind me moment by moment, year after year.

I had a huge paradigm shift about 10 years ago that began to open new dimensions for me, but each subsequent catalyst has increased that exponentially.

For 45 years, I mostly only allowed thoughts from one paradigm to influence me. My only saving grace was my diehard desperation to understand why I thought like I did which seemed so vastly different from others ensconced in the same worldview.

It was the discovery of the mystics in Seminary that led me to understand why my thinking was so different from those of my contemporaries. And when at last I understood that there were, "...more things in this world, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy..." my world began to expand. It wasn't that I didn't know about those "more things" before; it was that I didn't realize that everyone didn't incorporate them into their thinking, and that's where the separation began.

One of the first things a new lover taught me in 2005 and then proceeded to reinforce with every exposure is that, "Everything you know is wrong," the mantra of the Firesign Theatre album of the same name. That same year I read Dr. Christopher Hyatt & Antero Alli's Modern Shaman's Guide to a Pregnant Universe and it catapulted my thinking.

The Modern Shaman's Guide told me I had to find and eradicate my "hideous corpuscle" which I came to understand in time as my Ego.

And that is enough of the history lesson. I just want to thank my teacher's in these past few years: first, the big three -- Thom Cooper, Gayle Colopy and Eckhart Tolle. Thom was my group therapist when I hit bottom, Gayle is my life partner and my inspiration, and Eckhart Tolle is the man who wrote in one sentence the words that healed my past. Not that there weren't a thousand other catalysts to that healing, but his words put all of it together, pierced me to the heart, divided bone and marrow, and put the ointment on the wound that allowed the festering to stop so that it could heal, once and for all.

Perception, Ego, and the Now

It's been nearly 8 weeks since I posted. Life has definitely been in the fast lane for those weeks -- mostly in the cerebral realms!

Yes, we've moved -- we're trying out Show Low for the summer. Even considering staying for the year. I can't imagine, though, what mountain winter is like after 16 years in California and Arizona.

And, of course, I've spent those 16 years reluctantly giving away all my mountain clothes. ><

But on the subject of "my life since EquiSync," I can barely keep up with what's going on. www.eocinstitute.org

No lie. It has drastically decreased my usual irritability, and it significantly lowers my blood pressure.

But the beauty of it goes far beyond that. I am experiencing a serious increase in creativity, motivation, peace, and best yet, the Law of Attraction at work.

I have been using the Law of Attraction for several years now, and it works well for me, but the meditation has really ramped it up.

And now, for the first time, I understand a concept in a way I have never understood it before: why meditation works; no, I mean why it REALLY works.

And I found that information in a very unexpected place.

I knew it worked, but I hadn't gotten it to work for me. Then I read and heard enough that I knew I would "grow" no further until I was able to meditate.

Believe me, I'm not attributing everything to the EquiSync. EquiSync was what worked to get me into the silence. I will be glad when my brain is trained and I no longer have to rely on the recordings, when I can get into the space by myself.

I have long heard the importance of meditation to assist one to "live in the now." But I really only had a vague idea of what that meant. Until I experienced it. But the experience was inarticulable for me (is that a word?) until I read something.

The last time I was in the library, I was led to pick up a Carlos Castaneda book. Now, I've had the opportunity to read Castaneda for years, but was never interested. I had A Yaqui Way of Knowledge on my own bookshelf for years and never even opened it. You see, I was stupidly swayed by the opinions of academics who went out of their way to try to discredit his work. All I can say is, they completely miss the point.

Anyway, I picked up Tales of Power because I have been extremely interested in storytelling as magic for the last couple of years. (Yeah, so interested that I have several books about it on my bookshelf -- that I've never read.) But I had found my own magical power(s) through storytelling, and I do mean to read what others have to say about it.

ANYway, I was absolutely blown away by the concepts in Tales of Power. It is so pithy in a psychological, philosophical, and practical way that I can only read a few pages, then I have to stop to digest and visualize what I have read. I have found it amazing, to say the least. More proof to me that the ancients took as given the things that our society is just now beginning to understand/explain through quantum concepts.

But most of all, I loved the concept Castaneda put forth about man's inner monologue -- I'm sure many philosophers have said the same thing, but most philosophy books are intellectually inaccessible to me. Most of what I know about philosophy, I've either intuited myself or had it distilled for me by someone else. (An interesting insight into that particular phenomenon is had by watching the movie "Leaves of Grass."

According to Castaneda, our monologue that is so difficult to quash, is our moment by moment processing and perception of the world. The problem is that it's always in the PAST! Maybe only by a millisecond or so, but still in the past. We are just iterating what we just perceived. Combining what Ekhart Tolle says with what Castaneda says, it must be the ego that does the narrating because it's the toughest bugger to kill that I have ever encountered. It fights!

Having that realization also led me to understand that when someone is talking about the Warrior, he or she is talking about one engaged in the battle to quell the Ego.

So, the upshot of all this is that it is imperative to stop that internal monologue long enough to experience the NOW. Before Castaneda, I understood that everyone said it was important, but not having experienced it, I didn't truly understand it. The NOW is the only way to be a Shaman, to walk between the worlds. To truly understand other dimensions and spirits. I have worked with spirits since before I was an adult. But I see now that it was always past perception rather than a knowing in the NOW. Only in the NOW can I progress.