Breathing words + healing

I am a writer. I am filled with philosophies and tales and wondrous descriptions, deep thoughts and fabulous ideas. But why do so few of my inspirations reach the written page? I realize that I bog myself down by writing everything in the same self-conscious way. When I'm writing an informative article, I must, of course, consider my audience. If I am marketing a piece, I must consider many things. But when I just want to breathe words, I realize quite a different strategy must be employed.

I realized today that the problem with writing is the same problem we have with living and thinking -- we are narrating the past -- something we envisioned or heard from our muse a moment ago.

When I was a literature student, I never really got into reading "stream-of-consciousness" literature, but I think now that I should employ a semblance of that.

My thoughts of late are carried by the breeze in the instant. This is when I am the most lucid.

I have had several catalysts over the past two years, all of which have carried me aloft and taught me so much. I want to share these things with you in the hope that something here will inspire YOU to new heights, new dimensions, something that will help engender greater freedom for you as it has for me.

For the first 45 years or so of my learning, everything was very orderly and built on previous lessons, but they also carried the heaviness of the baggage I drew along behind me moment by moment, year after year.

I had a huge paradigm shift about 10 years ago that began to open new dimensions for me, but each subsequent catalyst has increased that exponentially.

For 45 years, I mostly only allowed thoughts from one paradigm to influence me. My only saving grace was my diehard desperation to understand why I thought like I did which seemed so vastly different from others ensconced in the same worldview.

It was the discovery of the mystics in Seminary that led me to understand why my thinking was so different from those of my contemporaries. And when at last I understood that there were, "...more things in this world, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy..." my world began to expand. It wasn't that I didn't know about those "more things" before; it was that I didn't realize that everyone didn't incorporate them into their thinking, and that's where the separation began.

One of the first things a new lover taught me in 2005 and then proceeded to reinforce with every exposure is that, "Everything you know is wrong," the mantra of the Firesign Theatre album of the same name. That same year I read Dr. Christopher Hyatt & Antero Alli's Modern Shaman's Guide to a Pregnant Universe and it catapulted my thinking.

The Modern Shaman's Guide told me I had to find and eradicate my "hideous corpuscle" which I came to understand in time as my Ego.

And that is enough of the history lesson. I just want to thank my teacher's in these past few years: first, the big three -- Thom Cooper, Gayle Colopy and Eckhart Tolle. Thom was my group therapist when I hit bottom, Gayle is my life partner and my inspiration, and Eckhart Tolle is the man who wrote in one sentence the words that healed my past. Not that there weren't a thousand other catalysts to that healing, but his words put all of it together, pierced me to the heart, divided bone and marrow, and put the ointment on the wound that allowed the festering to stop so that it could heal, once and for all.